Dear Julia:

My cousin and I are currently not speaking to each other. A few months ago, she kissed a guy I was interested in. I tried to be spiritual about it, but about a month later, I realized I hadn't dealt with how hurt, angry and betrayed I felt. I told her I needed a break from her and that I really didn't like her at the moment. She didn't want me to take a break; she was hurt and probably felt betrayed as well. We haven't spoken since that last conversation, which was months ago, though I've tried numerous times to reconnect. Her last text message read, Please stop hassling me about this, you put me on hold. I've accepted that she doesn't want to talk and perhaps doesn't want to be friends. I'm sad about this but I feel it's pointless to try to contact her anymore. I'm an Aries sun, Scorpio moon; she's a Leo sun. Please pray for peace between us.
Melissa

Dear Melissa:

I'm no astrologer, but I believe that Aries/Leo relationships tend to be both very rewarding and very intense. As you're very much alike in some key ways, this combination can be explosive. As an Aries, you want to be the leader, and as a Leo, she wants to be the center of attention. (She may have kissed this guy simply because she was jealous.) When you took a break from her, you shocked her: no one treats her royal highness in such a fashion!

That you're an Aries Sun/Scorpio Moon would only add fuel to the fire, for Leo/Scorpio relationships are known to be explosive and unforgiving. Once trust has been broken, neither sign is likely to let her guard down again. However, though you both pretend to be ultra confident, deep down you're vulnerable, which means you both are no doubt longing for a return to love - she's just too proud to admit it.

You don't want to be in relationship with someone who doesn't want to be in relationship with you. If you push that river, you will live through one drama after another until you grow to regret it, so you're wise to surrender needing this to be different. At the same time, there are things you can do on a spiritual level to cultivate new peace.

I recommend the following meditation, which has been known to work miracles in troubled relationships. I did a version of this meditation years ago. At that time, I'd been in conflict with someone and we hadn't spoken for months. The very next morning, she called and asked to come over and talk, and within an hour or two, she was in my kitchen, having a friendly chat over coffee. This is powerful stuff!

First, hold the person you're in conflict with very clearly in your mind. Visualize her face, presence and energy. Now relax, close your eyes, and for a moment, feel yourself right where you're sitting.

With your eyes still closed, mentally picture the space all around you. Fill the room with your awareness. Now become aware of the world outside the building, the trees, fresh air, people, houses...As you do, feel yourself rising up and up, right through the roof. Now you can see the building you are sitting in from the outside, the surrounding streets and trees, people walking and driving. As you float up farther, you can see the whole surrounding area. You're floating up quickly now, and it's marvelous to view everything from this high perspective!

You float up higher and now you can see the whole country, the whole continent. You're floating out to space, and it's exhilarating. Below you, you can see the whole beautiful Earth. It's a big blue ball, endlessly turning, endlessly moving through space, through change.

As you look over the planet with love and appreciation for its blessings and beauty, your attention is drawn toward what is happening in the Middle East. You sense fighting there, but in your current state of pure, positive energy, this doesn't alarm you at all. You know that one who is connected to the stream of Divine love and light is more powerful than a million who are not, so you decide to move closer now and send love and healing to this part of the world.

As you touch down in Iraq, you see an American soldier. He's just a boy, hiding behind a wall. What he can't see is that on the other side of the building, creeping toward the same corner, there is a young Iraqi soldier. He is even younger, fresh-faced with curly, dark hair. They are both scared and alone, and suddenly you have the impulse to send them love.

As you send love from your heart toward both of them, you see the auras of both grow lighter and brighter. Just then, they both reach the corner and are startled. They aim their weapons at each other, but neither pulls the trigger. They are so close they are eye to eye, and both are struck by how young the other looks. Neither has the will to fight. The Iraqi lowers his weapon, and as he does so, the American can feel that he is no threat, and he lowers his gun as well.

You see their auras open up, and from one heart to another, there is understanding. At a deep level, their beings are saying, We are the same. Even though we have been fighting for different sides, we are both just men. You have a mother who loves you, and I do too. We were both raised to fight for our countries. If we had been born into different circumstances, we might be friends. We're both scared, and are just playing out these silly roles. I want to live to enjoy this beautiful life, and I know you do too. Let's just go in peace.

Now as you watch, the American solider turns and looks at you, and you're surprised he can see you! He motions for you to come and see what he can see, and so you walk over. You're standing right next to him when he motions for you to look at the Iraqi. As you do, you are startled to see not the eyes of that young soldier, but instead, the eyes of that person you yourself have warred with - and those eyes are soft and gentle, for now you've connected with the higher self of that person, and it is truly amusing to see your battle from a higher perspective. How silly it all was! You were both fighting for the same cause, after all: happiness.

Look into this person's heart and soul, and feel the love there for friends and family, feel the hopes and the dreams and the longing for love and happiness. Reach into every corner, and you'll see that this person experiences fear and loneliness too, and is longing for the same things you long for. Suddenly, you know in every cell of your being that you can make peace or make war, but whatever you send to this person, that is what YOU will experience. It doesn't matter what this person is wishing you, for what he or she wishes is what he or she will experience. All that matters now is that you love YOURSELF by loving this person, by sending the peace and healing and joy you desire to them.

As you do, this person smiles and opens his or her heart to you in trust. You wish them all good things, and as you do, your own heart soars with a warm, blissful feeling. You can spend as long as you like basking in this divine healing energy. When you are ready, bow in honor of their divinity and tell them that you hope they have a wonderful life, that all their dreams come true, and then come back to the present.

The key here is to remember that you don't need the other person to give you anything in return in this meditation: in connecting with their higher self, you will make peace with them on a soul level, and line yourself up with all you wish for them. If you pour all of your heart into this meditation, they will soon soften toward you.

- Julia