Dear Julia:

I recently went to a psychic/medium who came highly recommended by a couple of friends of mine. While I didn't really have any pressing concerns, listening to my friends describe their amazing readings piqued my curiosity. I called and made an appointment, and had to wait three weeks to get in. (Is that normal?) When we finally met, the psychic seemed lovely and warm. She held my hands, closed her eyes, and for several moments was quiet. She then opened her eyes and asked me if I had any pressing concerns, and I told her I did not, I just wanted a "general reading." I wanted HER to tell me about ME. Shouldn't she be able to figure my concerns out herself? Anyway, she closed her eyes again, and after a few minutes, she said she was sorry, that she didn't feel she should proceed with the reading, she wasn't getting anything. She didn't charge me a thing, and seemed to be genuinely sorry that she couldn't read for me. I was so disappointed! How come my friends got great readings, and I got nothing? Are there some people you just can't read for? Why would that happen?

Dear Mary:

First, I think it was a good sign that you had to wait three weeks to get in. It means that your reader has a loyal client base, most likely because she offers a good service for a good price. There are times when it takes that long or longer to get an appointment with me.

As for your disappointing experience, I encourage everyone to go into a reading situation with some carefully considered questions. Pursuing a "general reading" is a bit like going into therapy when you don't even think you have any issues to work on. What's the point?

One advantage of doing email readings is having folks' written questions ahead of time, for this allows me to work with them in carefully discerning what they really need to know. Asking the right question is everything, for questions are the foundation of the reading. I actually won't even begin a reading without some specific questions, because it has been my experience that a reading will only be as powerful and useful as the questions are focused and needed. The stronger the need of the client, the greater the reading. You see, that need or desire is like a vacuum that summons Spirit. If there's no energy for a reading, then my client is wasting her money and wasting my time.

If a client comes in and says, "Look at my career life: do you see a promotion, or do you think I'm going to leave this company to start my own business?" it's like the client has said, "Look out the window. Do you see any red birds? How about blue birds?" I can then look and report back what I see. If a client says, "I just want a general reading," it's like saying, "Look out and tell me what you see." Where do I start? I may begin with buildings and flowers and people walking by, and never even get to mention birds in the course of the reading. As I want my clients to be deeply satisfied with my work, I insist that they communicate what they are looking for going in. It's also not for me to figure out my clients' questions and concerns. In fact, if I pick up on something in a reading and it's not related to any questions that have been asked, I won't go there. That's a recipe for stepping on some psychic toes for sure.

I also have little patience for folks who challenge me to prove myself before we even get started, especially since I guarantee satisfaction with my work. While I can appreciate healthy skepticism, energy won't flow if distrust is in the way. Imagine if the psychic wanted you to pay up front, and then wanted to call the bank to verify that the check wouldn't bounce before starting the reading. (Yuck!) The psychic is trusting you in many ways, so it's best to offer trust back and then evaluate the reading later.

Besides a lack of focused questions and mutual trust, there are many reasons why a psychic may not be able to read for a certain client. Sometimes, clients don't really want to know the truth; they only want to hear what they want to hear. An honest reader is in a tough spot with someone like this. Sometimes the reader can work through that blind spot with the help of Spirit. If a psychic is being told by Spirit not to proceed, however, she would be foolish and hypocritical to push forward. After all, being psychic is all about honoring the truth that comes to us via our intuition. If she doesn't take the advice of Spirit, how can she expect anyone else to? If it "feels wrong," a good psychic will not push it.

Like many of my psychic friends, I like myself too much to read for people who are challenging, aggressive, crude, angry, petty, superficial or actively in disbelief. (This is not meant as any reflection on you, dear!) This is one reason why pushy skeptics who demand "proof" generally remain skeptical; no one who is truly psychic would deal with them. I'm not out to prove anything to anyone; I just want to help people work through grief, heal from emotional wounds, reconnect with their personal power and fulfill their dreams.

There are lots of other reasons readings don't click that have nothing to do with the client. Sometimes it's the reader who is having an off day. When I know I'm not able to do my best work, I'll postpone the reading for the next day. If I were the one paying for a reading, I'd prefer to wait than get less than the best, and I figure my clients feel the same.

Sometimes the timing can't be forced. Some days I'll have a certain someone on my reading schedule, and one thing after another will come up to prevent me from doing that reading that day. I'll write and apologize, but also assure the client that divine timing must be at work. Almost always, the higher purpose behind the delay becomes clear.

There have only been a few people over the many years I've been a spiritual counselor that I couldn't read for, and I did feel very bad about it. With most, it was a matter of timing. With others, it was probably just bad chemistry. We all meet people now and then that we just can't communicate with.

I can feel your sense of rejection, and I encourage you to not take this experience personally. In fact, I believe you were protected. You were about to push your way into something that was not going to prove positive for you, and Spirit stepped in to prevent you from making a mistake. Whenever a reader tells a client that she can't read for them, I think that client should assume that there is a benevolent reason for this. Perhaps the client has neglected her intuition in pursuing the reading with this person, and is about to "make a mistake" by getting that reading. Spirit may then tell the psychic (who hopefully is better able to hear Spirit than the client is) that this reading is not meant to be.

Mary, I have faith that when you have a strong need, Spirit will answer it. Despite all the legal disclaimers, psychic counseling is not for entertainment purposes only; it's about reconnecting with our higher selves and God, healing our deepest wounds, and fulfilling our highest destinies. It's about putting the pieces of our souls back together so we feel whole and healthy and hopeful again. I know when you really need that kind of help, Spirit will be there for you, too. This time, Spirit helped you by preventing you from making a costly mistake. Instead of feeling disappointed, try to look at it like you were protected, and give thanks for the divine forces watching over you every day.

- Julia