Dear Julia: I am a Reiki practitioner, and would like to do Reiki on my teenage son. He plays hockey and has an injured shoulder, but he won't let me do healing on him. I've tried long distance Reiki. Can you suggest anything else?
- Kate

Dear Kate:

Kate, I feel your pain and frustration! It can be heartbreaking to watch someone we love suffer, especially when we believe we have the knowledge and power they need to manifest new well-being. It's especially challenging when they don't want our help - when we have to butt out and watch them struggle through. The bottom line, however, is that we can't create in another's experience. We can't force others to accept and embrace healing any more than we can force them to accept our spiritual beliefs.

I've walked far down this path as a frustrated healer myself. For example, my beloved father is only 60 years old, and he has more health problems than I can even mentally keep track of. He has type II diabetes, Parkinson's disease, a heart problem, kidney problems, etc. My dad has always been full of life, love and adventure. Now he feels horrible most of the time and is facing a lot of very stressful decisions.

There are a few ways we can end up in such a state. Some people worry about disease so much that they manifest it, while others (like my dad) just never make the mental effort to manifest well-being. In his case, he was simply careless; always living for the moment, never taking the time to consciously align radiant health. (Everyone who abuses their bodies through some kind of addiction like alcoholism or compulsive eating would also fall into this category; they are so attached to getting whatever they crave right now that they fail to consciously manifest good health above all else).

In any case, once health problems start to crop up, it's hard to ignore them, and the more one focuses on problems, the bigger they get. Even though I was young when my dad's health problems began, instead of following in his footsteps or worrying about getting them myself, I used them as a springboard to focus on what I DID want. In seeing such a graphic example of ill health, I was able to make a very clear, strong intention that I would be strong, fit and irrepressible. (That's how I became such a health nut.)

As I grew into an adult and my dad's health began to really decline, I also began to gain a great deal of spiritual knowledge regarding how we create our own realities. I of course wanted very badly to share all of this with my dad, and truth be told, I did try. It was obvious, however, that until someone is really ready for this level of knowledge and power, they will reject it part and parcel as kooky fantasy, regardless of the source.

As my dad recently faced some major health crises, I tried again. I cried and pleaded, I gave him a book, etc. In desperation, he actually started reading the book (Love, Medicine, and Miracles by Bernie Siegel), and while he found it encouraging for a little while, he soon abandoned it. It was just too great a vibrational stretch from the reality he has spent years aligning. Though I wish with all my heart and soul that he could find the road to wellness as I have, I just can't force it. It's sort of like trying to lead someone to enlightenment or happiness - they have to choose it for themselves.

We need to remember that people have lessons to learn here on Earth, and though we may wish them the greatest happiness and the easiest paths through life, if learning the "easy way" isn't going to work for them, then dragging them to that path isn't doing them any favors. If someone is facing a hard challenge, it's actually a sign that they couldn't learn an easier way, for we do get all kinds of opportunities to deal with things when they are "small." If we aren't wise enough to tackle them early and align what we want before things get really challenging, then obviously, we need to get smacked in the face with a two-by-four to "get it."

I'm sure you can see that there are a lot of spiritual lessons your son needs to learn that are preventing him from accepting healing. His pain and discomfort are symptoms of what we might call spiritual ignorance. Only with knowledge and wisdom do we gain the power to consciously work with the law of attraction to create what we want in our lives. Many people only begin to open up to new knowledge when the pain of their current reality sparks a strong desire for change.

In situations like this, the best we can do is simply offer a shining example of health and well-being. Then when our loved ones wake up and decide things have to change, they will look around at their options, see the path to well-being we've blazed, and ask us how they can follow in our footsteps.

You can, however, pray for your son by visualizing him feeling fine and happily playing hockey. When it comes right down to it, prayer is as powerful as Reiki or any other healing approach. We are not the ones doing the healing after all; we just channel the energy, and it's up to the recipient of our focus to accept or reject it.

I know it's especially hard when it's your child, but I recommend you relax and try to see only perfection in this situation. Visualize your son centered in his own personal power as creator of his own experiences, and see the perfect balance of lessons that he has created in order to learn what he needs to learn to progress spiritually. Send him love and tell him that you know he will be just fine. Remind him that at any moment, he can shift into greater well-being. Tell him you are there for him if he wants your help as a healer, and then just let go and focus on manifesting radiant well-being yourself, so you can be a shining beacon lighting the path to wellness for him.

Remember, there is nothing in the Universe to truly agonize over; everything does happen for a good reason. Besides, if you can stay centered in faith, you'll remain connected to the stream of pure positive energy, which is essential if you're going to do healing work for those who are ready and willing to move toward new well-being.

- Julia