The Ethics of Psychic Readings about Third Parties
by
Julia Melges-Brenner. Copyright Sabrina Scott, Inc. All rights
reserved. Written for and originally published in Kajama.
Dear
Julia:
I'm wondering what to make
of psychic readings that others get for you. Twice someone else has
gone to a psychic and then asked about me, and both times I have been
bothered by it. Last week my friend told me that she was going to a
psychic and was going to ask about me. I told her not to but she still
did. I even put it out there that I didn't want my friend to know
anything. What the psychic told her really upset me. She asked about a
potential health matter that I've been concerned about, and the
psychic's answer was pretty upsetting to me. I'm trying to figure out
how much credence to put into this reading since I told the Universe
that I didn't want my friend to know anything.
M.
Dear M.:
I think both your friend and this psychic were out of line, especially
since you told your friend not to ask about you. This is as bad as
reading someone's diary or opening their mail: it's an invasion of
privacy.
As with all ethical issues, this comes down to the Golden Rule and
treating others as we would want to be treated. In sorting out how we
feel about others' actions, however, we do have to keep their
intentions in mind. I feel your friend was well-intentioned and asked
about you because she'd be happy to have you do the same for her if
your roles were reversed. However, she definitely dropped the ball when
she failed to listen to and honor your wishes. On the whole, however, I
don't feel she was being nosy or malicious; she was just excited about
going to this psychic and wanted to share a bit of this great
opportunity with you.
It's the psychic I really take issue with: she had no business getting
into YOUR business without first obtaining your permission, and she
certainly had no business sharing whatever she picked up with your
friend. If psychic work were regulated the way the health care industry
is, I'm sure this would be considered a breach of ethics worthy of
jeopardizing her <q>license.</q> Just imagine if your
friend had gone to see a psychiatrist who had private information about
you, and your friend had asked for and received that information!
With great power comes great responsibility, so this psychic should
know better than to go trespassing into other people's psychic
territory. I would never read anyone without their permission, and I
certainly wouldn't relay personal information I picked up about someone
to a third party.
Where things get a little tricky is when my own client's questions
involve someone else in their life. For example, I'm often asked if
spouses are cheating or if kids are doing drugs and other questions
along those lines. As I feel it is unethical to talk about what third
parties are or are not doing, I determine how to proceed by keeping my
client's true needs and interests at the heart of the reading.
Fortunately, everything I "get" in readings comes from Spirit, and
Spirit always knows just what to say. So when I'm asked if someone is
cheating, Spirit will guide me to the true issues at hand: whether my
client can trust the person they're asking about, whether my client can
trust their own intuitions about the situation, whether or not this
particular relationship is a match to what they really want in love,
and what they can do to create what they want in their lives.
Even if I psychically saw someone cheating, it would be reckless to say
so because psychic impressions aren't evidential. No one should be
accused of doing something "wrong" based on psychic impressions –
there's just too much room for misinterpretation of the actual facts.
If I'm asked if a man is cheating and I see him with another woman,
that could mean all sorts of things: It could mean that he's having an
affair, that he's been thinking about having an affair, or even that
I'm picking up on my own client's projected fears that he may be having
an affair.
Which brings us to the good news for you: you can probably disregard
everything this psychic said about you, because in my experience, it's
just too hard to get a clear read on a third party. While it's possible
that some psychics may be able to read anyone whether they have a
direct connection of some kind with them or not, I don't personally
know any. I connect with my clients through the energy of their
emotions, so the more they open up their hearts to me, the easier it is
for me to get a clear read on them. Since I have no emotional/energetic
connection to third parties, I have to read their energy through the
connection the client has to them, which means that all sorts of
subjective ideas and feelings can cloud the picture.
When I'm working with someone and they ask questions like When will my daughter get a job? or Will my friend ever find true love?
it's sort of like being a doctor and having a patient come in and say,
"My friend has been experiencing some strange pains lately. What do you
think is wrong with her?"
I'm reminded of a book I once read about a harem. Since no men aside
from the palace eunuchs were allowed to see or touch any of the
emperor's wives, when one of them needed to be treated by a doctor, the
doctor had to work through another woman. The patient would be behind a
screen, and the doctor would tell the woman what to do and look for,
and that woman would report back her findings. Just as it would be very
hard to diagnose and treat someone this way, it's very hard to get a
clear psychic read on someone if you have to try to go through someone
else.
While I agree that your friend's actions were disrespectful of your
wishes and this psychic's behavior was unethical, you would be wise to
contemplate what this experience may mean to you personally. After all,
if you didn't have a sore spot, it wouldn't have made you
uncomfortable. Further, since we create our own realities, you'd be
wise to take responsibility for manifesting this experience instead of
blaming your friend and this psychic for doing this to you.
We create our own realities not only through our desires but also our
fears, so you might begin by looking for the fears underlying this
experience. If you've been anxious about this potential health matter
and avoiding the issue, you could have manifested this upsetting news
not because it's true, but because it's what you were afraid of
hearing. You could also have manifested this situation as a result of
worrying that your friend wouldn't respect your wishes or would find
out information you didn't want her to know. For example, if she told
you she was going to this psychic and you immediately thought, She better not ask about me! you actually aligned with her doing just that.
I could offer you all sorts of ways to "defend" yourself against
psychic intruders in the future, but it's far more effective to let go
of worrying about what you don't want to have happen, and instead,
focus on the love, harmony, respect and good health you desire. By
allowing your reactions to this experience to illuminate where you may
need to do some spiritual work in order to align with a higher level of
experience, you can turn it into something helpful and empowering.
-
Julia
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