Dear Julia:

I have had a hard year trying to "find myself." I've done many years of counseling, and it seems the harder I try to find answers, the harder I fall. I've become depressed, angry and hateful towards the people I love. Can you explain what is happening? I just want to know how I can help myself. Therapy just seems to be making everything worse.
- Rhonda

Dear Rhonda:

I'm so glad you asked this question! We've been taught that when we're depressed or having emotional problems, we should seek therapy, and unfortunately, this often leads to the sort of dismal hopelessness you describe.

As I see it, conventional therapy has a lot of drawbacks. First, its whole focus is on finding "the problem." One is encouraged to talk at length about everything that is going wrong as well as every horrible thing that ever happened that could be causing problems now. Its focus is negative through and through. As what we focus upon expands, from a metaphysical perspective, traditional therapy generally leads to bigger problems and more negative emotion.

It also tends to view depression as the problem to be solved, when in fact, depression is just a symptom that we're closing ourselves off from life force energy. The gas gauge on your car is not causing a problem when it gets near empty; it's being helpful! Similarly, depression tells us a whole lot about what is happening in terms of our life force energy so that we can pay attention and take whatever action is necessary.

Traditional therapy also fails to acknowledge a whole host of possible causes of depression that have nothing to do with your past experiences, unless you include past LIFE experiences. If something traumatic happened at a certain age or stage in a prior life, we can find ourselves suddenly depressed in this one. For example, I once had a client who very happily got married and moved into a new home with her groom, only to find herself inexplicably depressed. When we uncovered a past life in which she was disowned by her family for marrying this same man, she was able to consciously process her confusing sense of grief that she was losing her family. It also often happens that non-physical energies and earthbound entities are behind feelings of depression. Instead of helping with those cases, however, traditional therapy often just labels us schizophrenic (which certainly doesn't boost our mood).

Psychotherapy is by design lengthy and expensive. You can invest years of your life and thousands of dollars, and never really know that you're making progress. I was in therapy for depression a couple of times before I knew any better, and I often left a session tallying the money spent and wondering what I had gotten out of it. I rarely felt better - in fact, I usually felt worse. By contrast, when leaving a reading or a healing session, I would feel totally realigned with well-being, and see my life and my options so much more clearly.

Therapists are infamous for being emotional/psychological wrecks themselves. How are they supposed to help us? Psychics/healers can be so much more empowering because they are not the source of the help; they are just channeling divine healing energy through to us. Instead of one kindergartener going to another for help on how to solve a problem, seeking healing or guidance in Spirit is like that kindergartener going to the teacher.

So the longer you stay in therapy and the deeper you go, the worse things tend to get. When therapy does eventually work, it's usually because people get so sick of spending a fortune to talk about heavy, depressing, negative stuff that they decide they have had ENOUGH. It's sort of like aversion therapy.

The biggest drawback to traditional psychological therapy is it usually fails include the most important ingredient in a sense of well-being: spirituality! We can not cut Spirit out of the equation. When we're depressed, everything seems pointless; life seems devoid of meaning. Spirituality exists to help us find a higher meaning behind our experiences. Further, many very normal, common spiritual symptoms of awakening are deemed to be pathological by traditional medicine. Being told by "experts" that we're crazy when what we are experiencing is indeed very real and valid is enough to send anyone off the deep end.

I believe there are many ways to break through to new well-being that are far more powerful than therapy. First, know that this does not have to be a long process. It is possible for you to be feeling fine and full of life two days from now, and never struggle with depression again. (I have done it).

I recommend a holistic approach. You can't ignore the body, the heart or the spirit. Focusing only on the mind is like replacing only the roof on a house that is on the verge of collapsing. The first thing I do when I start to feel down is look at my physical habits: what I'm eating, how much I'm sleeping, how much exercise and sunshine I'm getting. The modern Western diet is so low in vibration that it would be hard to eat it for any length of time and NOT get depressed. Instead of Prozac, what we all need is more fresh, whole, raw food (fruits and vegetables!). While this may sound simplistic, I promise you if you adopt a mostly whole food diet and other healthy habits, you will feel amazingly different.

I estimate that 75% of folks who are depressed would feel great once they adopted truly healthy physical habits. If you have honestly done so and are still feeling down, it's time to ask yourself what you want that you either won't allow yourself to have, or that you believe is impossible for you to have. These are very common causes of depression, for they involve a choking off of desire and hence life force.

For example, if a woman is very unhappy in her marriage, but she either won't give herself permission to leave because she doesn't want to "hurt" anyone, or won't even acknowledge to herself that she is miserable because she won't allow herself to want more than she has, depression often results. The longer she closes herself off from her own truth, the more her life force energy is choked off. Similarly, if a man is miserable in his job, but believes he "should" stay there because he "should" do this, that and the other thing for his family, and that finding something better is impossible, he will likely get depressed. When we don't allow ourselves what we NEED emotionally, depression grows and grows until we can't take it anymore and are motivated to make some drastic changes.

There are many other great ways to embrace healing. Feng shui (clear out) what isn't working (the stuff, relationships and habits that are weighing you down), and add in better choices. Also, seek out a gifted healer or spiritual counselor who can help you to tap your own personal power to create what you want and need.

When we honor our bodies, hearts, minds and spirits, we experience well-being. We feel alive, free, optimistic, empowered and at peace. I sincerely believe if you honestly look at how you're treating yourself and begin to honor your true needs on all levels, you will effortlessly and naturally return to a state of well-being.

- Julia