Dear Julia:
Some time ago, I went to a seance and was told that my father's spirit is dark and needs the light. This was after I succumbed to a crying fit and fell head first onto the floor. After that, I made an altar with my dad's picture on it, and I've been praying for him. I've been in pain and my moods have been scary. I can barely get out of bed. My dad did some bad things when he was alive, but I know that he was sorry for them before he died. I do feel that something is holding him earthbound, however. Could the bad things my dad did be holding him here? He had children with his daughter, and my sister and I now have custody of her youngest. We are currently fighting in court over this child because her son molested her daughter and my daughter, and I won't let him near the girls. My sister is mad about this. She says that I loved my dad but hate her son, and she curses my father. I don't know what to think or feel about my dad's spirit. Why is he asking me for help? I don't want to put my kids in danger of another spirit attacking them. I was initiated into Palo Mayombe, an Afro-Cuban religion. In my religion, I was crowned with the Orisha of Oya, the Orisha of death - the one who deals with evil spirits. I'm still learning however, and feel like I'm in over my head. I was born 6/15/74.
Michelle

Dear Michelle:

I understand why you feel overwhelmed; this sounds like a very dramatic, overwhelming situation all around.

I'm sorry to say that your father may indeed be earthbound. Certainly having regrets can hold one back from crossing over, as can the desire to be forgiven for something. Ongoing turmoil in the family as a result of one's actions often holds spirits back. It's possible that your father is highly aware of all the problems he caused and the fact that the fallout from his actions continues, so he is sticking around, waiting for everyone to find peace with it all so that he can be at peace and move on.

I don't want to paint a Pollyanna picture of the lower astral realm, however. Often people who are of a darker or lower nature while living will remain the same on the other side, so if someone was abusive during life, they can remain so in death. These spirits are lost in the astral, and they are just trying to get their needs met as they did when living. Unfortunately, they have no scruples about how they go about this, so they will try to continue to use the living as they did in life.

There is a broad spectrum of possibilities when it comes to the motives of earthbound spirits. Usually when loved ones remain earthbound and this causes problems for the living, the spirits don't mean any harm - they just don't know where else to go or what else to do. Usually they don't even know they're causing problems like the ones you describe.

When spirits remain earthbound, they can be a big drain on the energy of whomever they're attached to. This just makes sense, since they're essentially energetic parasites. The living, in trying to both fuel the spirits' energy needs and their own, tend to end up drained and exhausted. Spirit attachment can cause health problems, mood disorders, arguments, tension, depression - you name it. Living with an earthbound spirit can be like living with a raging alcoholic or a deeply depressed person; it tends to wear you down after a while.

Even if your father isn't causing these problems, living with all this turmoil in the family will attract lower astral entities in general, for they'll feed on all the intense energy raging through the family.

I know that your prayers for your father are greatly appreciated. The best thing you can do when praying for him is to pray for guides or angels of the light to come and help him. Also, speak to him out loud, send him love with your heart, tell him you forgive him, and tell him to look for the light. If he's very close to the earth plane, he may not be able to read your mind, but may actually hear your words. If he's lost in darkness and he thinks to look for the light because you've suggested it, he may notice a distant light for the first time. Then helpers on the other side will be able to get through to him.

When you pray for him, you must do so with a surrendered, faithful heart. By this I mean that you lift your heart up with faith that he will find whatever he needs on the other side, whenever the time is right for him. Just send him love, envision him basking in divine light, and then let go of what happens after that so you can focus on creating what you want in your own life.

In order to be free of the influence of any lower spirits, you must raise your vibration. To do this, you will have to try to find love and compassion for everyone involved here: your father, your sister, your nephew, your nieces, etc. I would begin with your sister, since that seems to be the greatest source of conflict in your world.

Just try to imagine how it would feel to be her and to have a son who had done what her son did, and to feel like other people you love see him as untrustworthy and unforgivable. You can find a way to make peace with everyone involved without foolishly repeating the mistakes of the past and putting innocents in harm's way. This conflict is not about who gets to be around whom: it's about how you all feel about yourselves and each other. If you can love your sister with true compassion, you can make peace with her regardless of what you all decide is best for the children involved.

Once you've raised your vibration, you'll want to clear your home and your space of any negative entities. They will eventually move on if you keep your vibration high, but that can be hard to do if they're still lingering and trying to bring you down. I've written extensively on this in other articles. You might check out Clearing a Space that Feels Negative or Creepy and Dealing with the Attachment of a Lower Astral Entity.

Finally, I urge you to study your spiritual role further. I don't know much about your religion, so please note that the following is just about religious traditions in general. Religions can give us the words to say and some general ideas about what may be happening, but they can't give us the faith and purity of heart to be spiritually powerful - we must develop these on our own. So while the Catholic Church may provide a priest with a ritual for exorcism, if he is just reading the words and going through the motions, he will probably have some very intense learning experiences.

As Orisha of Oya, you have devoted yourself to being a watcher at the doorway of death. Regardless of the religious label we put on this role, I do believe that when we make such dedications, they are noted in the spirit world. You wear the hat of one who watches at the doorway of death, so it makes sense to me that spirits who are stuck in that doorway would look to you for help. I encourage you to study the subject of earthbound spirits extensively, and to get further training in spirit releasement and how to handle the problems and issues that earthbound spirits can cause the living.

- Julia