Dear Julia:

I live in a large U.S. city, and I have been haunted lately by the idea of joining a monastery or a convent. It seems like life is so hectic and so busy that spiritual growth is an uphill battle, sort of like trying to lose weight while working in a bakery or a candy store. All I do is go, go, go. As I'm married and love my family, joining a monastery or convent seems really radical. I am thinking, however, that perhaps living where I do is bad for my (our?) "spiritual health." What do you think? Are there places where spiritual growth is easier than others? Is living in a big city bad for one's spiritual health?
- Lois

Dear Lois:

Thanks for the great question! Yes, there are some places that are generally healthier for us spiritually than others. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rules. For example, we've all known or heard of people who smoked like chimneys all their lives, drank like fish, ate eggs and bacon for breakfast everyday, and lived past a hundred. Similarly, some people thrive spiritually in the midst of chaos and confusion. The rest of us need all the help we can get!

Every place has its own vibration. This is why different places "feel" different to us. Think of the place you're living now, and how it "feels." Now think of all the places you've explored in your life, and you'll realize that each of these places had a unique feeling to it, just as every person you've ever met has had a certain "feel."

San Francisco has a very different vibration from the Bronx. Miami is a world apart from Boise. You might argue that this is because the people are different, but places attract people based on their vibrations. So people who are in harmony with San Francisco gravitate there, while people who are "like" Boise are drawn in that direction. We "like" places that we resonate with, either because we're on the same vibration, or a complementary one. I love Chicago and London, but there is a certain other big city (which shall remain nameless) that completely overwhelms me. Even when I meet people from that city in my own hometown, I'm usually instantly repelled. I can peg strangers from a distance as being from this city, based simply on recognizing that strong vibration. I know that living there would be very unhealthy for me on many levels. I'm just not in harmony with it. It would be like asking a dog to live in a tree. Many lovely creatures such as birds and monkeys and squirrels are right at home in trees, but others definitely are not.

The energy in cities, of course, is more agitated than in nature. This is why nature is so soothing to us. We don't have to deal with the energy residue of the thousands of people who have stood right where we stand, walked where we're walking, been born and died and made love and quarreled and cried and laughed and prayed here before us. It's also easier to become conscious of subtle energies when we're in subtle environments. If we want to hear the "whispers" of Spirit, for example, it's best to listen in a quiet place. If we're surrounded by a cacophony of noises, those whispers get lost in the shuffle.

Peace and quiet has thus always been associated with spirituality. This is also true because as we develop spiritually, we generally become more and more sensitive. The noise and commotion of the city can be overwhelming, and we then end up expending so much energy just coping that we don't have any left for growth and reflection.

Modern technology has also ironically put a growing strain on your average first world dweller. Instead of technology "saving us time" (meaning that we get more time to just "be,") the pace in high-tech nations has simply picked up. This is apparent, for example, in how it's difficult in most places to afford good housing unless you have two incomes coming into the household. As women entered the work force, the economy expanded and adjusted, so that what was once a bonus is now essential.

All of this was brought home to me when traveling in Mexico recently. I met a most interesting gentleman named Ken, who was born and raised in South Dakota. He moved to Hawaii for fifteen years, and eventually to Mexico, where he has lived for more than a decade. In discussing his decision to leave a country that many Latin immigrants are trying so hard to get into, he said, "Do you ever think about how hard you work just to maintain your lifestyle?" This is a really good question for all of us to ponder. He pointed out that in today's world, it is easier than ever for any of us to live anywhere we want to, so why not live where life is easy?

On the whole, Mexicans also make folks from the United States look like a bunch of ego-driven fools. These people are open, friendly, down to earth and really PRESENT. They look you in the eyes when talking to you, smile and laugh easily, and really listen and communicate. They don't swagger, strut, or put on airs. Unlike "Americans," they don't seem to be constantly aware of how they might appear to other people. (Nothing against Americans, who are of course uniquely independent, courageous, ambitious and progressive).

Combine the Mexican people with the weather (heaven, if you're used to bitter cold and snow every winter) and you've got a place full of friendly, laid back people, beautiful landscapes, and a pace that allows for really living, as opposed to trying to squeeze life in when you're not working. All of this facilitates an open spirit, one that is reflective and awake and alive.

As I see it, there are pros and cons no matter where you live. In big cities, just keeping up with life is a major challenge for most of us these days. Most people need a gentler setting to really thrive, and of course, as we change, our needs change as well. Your thoughts of joining a convent or monastery are reflecting a real truth to you, that your current home is not a good match to your spirit. Yes, some can thrive in that environment, but for most people, it's an unnatural fit.

If you don't want to move, there are lots of things you can do right where you are to make your spirit more comfortable. I once visited a Japanese garden right in the middle of a city, and was amazed by how I forgot where I really was. When I emerged onto the street a few hours later, I was in shock. It had been so serene in that garden. What big cities really lack is nature. Bring nature to you. Fence in your yard, and make it a haven. If you only have a balcony, you can work magic there (I've seen it done!). If you live in a colder climate, it's especially important to create nature's serenity indoors with plants, fountains, etc. Also, seek out the places in your city where you can find serenity. The the most of the great aspects of living in a city - for one, you'll find that lots of other people share your needs. They will have created Buddhist temples, yoga classes, nature trails, etc. You'll also have lots of organic/healthy produce available, spiritual teachers/ classes/ workshops, New Age bookstores where you can buy healing music and aromatherapy supplies, etc.

Of course, as I already pointed out, you really can live anywhere these days. The choice is entirely yours. Honor that call from your spirit. Keep in mind too that many people who have lived in convents, monasteries, ashrams, etc. in past lives will crave those settings again, especially when they lose touch with a sense of spiritual center that they lived with daily a long time ago. If, when longing for more spiritual serenity, your thoughts immediately turn to a certain setting or certain mental images, you're probably summoning a past life memory in answer to the longing in your soul. It doesn't mean you're meant to live there in the future; it just means you found what you are now looking for in such a place in the past.

There is a great big world out there, with lots of wonderful places. Go exploring. Your spirit is ready to move!

- Julia