My dad died three weeks ago. He never believed in life after death, but I do. I often joked that I would prove him right one day – have I? How soon after death can spirits contact us, and is it easier for some than for others?
In the words of Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” We each live in our own personal universe. In my reality and your reality, spirit communication is not only possible, it happens all the time. In the reality of someone who actively disbelieves in such things, it usually just doesn’t happen.
I would love to tell you that everyone who crosses over is instantly enlightened and sees the errors in all their limiting beliefs, but it’s my understanding that this is not the case. Death in and of itself doesn’t change our basic natures. While crossing over is certainly a “life changing” experience, some people are more changed by it than others. People who were staunch skeptics about spiritual matters while they were alive may remain disbelievers after death. It’s my understanding that some of them actually think that the life they’ve just left behind was nothing more than a dream or a hallucination – they don’t believe in what we call LIFE! They “wake up” on the other side saying, “Wow, what a dream I had!”
Now those are extreme cases, and no one remains like that forever. Just as our spiritual understanding is ever evolving here, it is also ever evolving in the afterlife. There are a lot of factors that may affect our ability to connect with certain loved ones in Spirit, not only from our end of things, but also from theirs. Certainly the belief that this is possible is a big one.
While there is no real “danger” in not believing in life after death, there is great POWER in believing. In order to gain the power to do something, we must believe it is possible.
We know that some people here on Earth are gifted at spirit communication while others have no interest in it, don’t believe it’s possible, or can’t seem to make it happen no matter how hard they try. Well, the same is true of spirits. Someone who thought spirit communication was a bunch of hogwash when alive may not instantly change his mind upon crossing over. While that does happen, it generally happens to open-minded folks who may have had opinions about such matters but were open to changing them in light of new evidence.
Further, just like people tend to only see and hear that which confirms their already set beliefs, the same is true of spirits. If we cross over with very strong expectations about what will happen, we will tend to have experiences that validate those beliefs. So if we firmly believe that Jesus will greet us, that is who we’ll meet. If, on the other hand, we believe we’ll float on a cloud to a heaven full of angels playing harps, that is probably what we will initially experience.
You can pretty much judge how well someone will settle into the afterlife by asking yourself how well they’d adapt to being plucked from their home and set down in a foreign culture. People who are open and adaptable will tend to adjust very quickly, while others may decide that instead of adapting to their new environment, they will adapt their environment to them.
As whatever we think about or desire in the astral instantly arises, if we’re attached to certain circumstances, we can simply fantasize them into being. This is the root of the widespread belief that we will have all our desires fulfilled when we get to “heaven,” for when we’re in the astral, we have only to think of something to have it take shape in our experience. What we call imagination is real in this dimension. All of this means that if we have a strong desire before we cross over to remain in contact with our loved ones here on Earth, and we believe that is possible, then we will find a way to make that happen.
As we retain our basic personalities, knowledge, passions and interests when we cross over, the best way to ensure we’ll have certain spiritual abilities on the other side is to develop them while we’re living. We can thus assume that the most gifted communicators in Spirit are generally those who were adept at this while alive on Earth.
There have been some amazing communications from spiritual researchers after they crossed over. Many of the pioneers of EVP (electronic voice phenomena), for example, have continued their work from the other side. Konstantine Raudive may be the best known researcher working just as hard on spirit communication from the other side as he did while he was living here on Earth.
If you have a relative who was an active disbeliever in spirit communication and the afterlife, they may not be easy to contact on the other side. That doesn’t mean it never happens, mind you – some people are delighted and amazed by all they learn about the afterlife when they cross over. Further, the power of love has been known to conquer all.
Please note that not being able to connect with someone in Spirit does not mean that they are lost or confused on the other side. As I’ve explained in a number of other columns, there are many factors that influence our ability to connect with certain spirits, both on our end and theirs. We have to have faith that if and when the time is right, this will happen.
I certainly don’t want you to worry about your father, for he would be no worse off “disbelieving” where he is now than he was when he was alive. I just want to be honest about my understanding of the power of belief, so that those of us who will cross over in the future know the value and wisdom of studying spiritual matters and developing strong faith.
If you have a loved one in Spirit that you are worried may be a bit lost, you can pray for them and reach out to them with your heart, for they may actually feel closer to you and the earth than they do to anyone in the afterlife. Tell them that they have died and should go toward the light or ask for spiritual help.
For example, to connect with your dad, work with the power of love and emotion. Just sit quietly with your eyes closed and vividly remember a happy time when you two were together. Go very deep into this memory. Recall all the sights and sounds and details of this experience. Sink into the feeling of being in his presence. The more clearly you can summon a memory of how it felt to be with him, the more you will draw him near.
You may feel like you are imagining his presence, but you have to suspend disbelief and just go with whatever comes to you, even if you feel like you’re “making it up” at first. Remember, what you imagine is real in the astral.
If you do locate your dad and he seems to be lost or not know he has died, you might want to call upon another loved one in Spirit who had faith in the afterlife and try to bring these two together. Tell him you’re going to summon someone who can help him.
If the particular spirit you’ve called upon doesn’t come, don’t worry – someone else will. Whoever is best suited for your dad will show up. Once you’ve mentally gotten them together, this helping spirit will take it from there.
While odds are good that our loved ones transition just fine into the afterlife, it can’t hurt to check in on them, and doing this will usually lead to the spirit communication we desire anyway.
If you try this and can’t seem to get the results you desire, remember that we all visit the astral in our dreams, so those spirits who may not be so good at reaching through to this dimension can almost always connect with us while we are dreaming and in their world.