Dear Julia:

How can I use the law of attraction to manifest true love with the perfect man for me?
Kezzer

Dear Kezzer:

There are a couple of ideas we need to explore before moving on to the subject of manifesting true love.

While reunions with soul mates tend to happen on a destined schedule, in many cases, we may have some control over the speed with which we draw certain people into our lives. Usually such reunions occur when 'the time is right' and 'the stars align.' Other times, the only thing holding us up is a lack of readiness for such a relationship on our part or the part of the one we're seeking.

It's important to realize that the perfect relationship for us at any given time may not be one that is meant to last a lifetime or fulfill all our dreams for love, passion and harmony. We are all in the process of healing old wounds, working through old karma and growing into greater personal potential, and the greatest forum for doing so is our relationships. This means that every relationship is perfect for us at that time, for it is there to fulfill some desire or teach us something we need to learn in order to move on to a higher experience of love.

This doesn't mean that we have to take whatever comes our way. In fact, there are lots of things we can do to prepare ourselves for true love. Should we have to wait on destiny in order to meet up with a certain individual, we can also create a delightful experience of love in the mean time.

One of the most common misconceptions I run into in my counseling work is the idea that if a relationship doesn't work out, something must have gone wrong. In fact, all relationships arise for a good reason, and from a higher spiritual perspective, these become clear as underlying patterns of experience. It can therefore be very helpful to seek higher awareness via meditation, hypnotherapy and other spiritual practices, or via spiritual counseling with a gifted intuitive reader, for when we become conscious of the issues we're working on, we can spark breakthroughs and fast progress.

The first thing I recommend is to work on any subconscious (or conscious) issues that may be holding you back from a fulfilling romantic experience. We all have these issues, for behind and beneath all we do there is profound longing to be loved and to love others on a deep, rich level. Further, we've all had painful or less than fulfilling experiences of love in the past, and if these are left unresolved, unhealed or incomplete somehow, they will hold us back from greater fulfillment until they are addressed.

All of this is perfect, for it's what propels us toward personal growth and spiritual evolution. Our longing for a deeper sense of happiness and fulfillment keeps us trying, which is all we need to keep doing in order to naturally discover, heal and release old wounds, karma and issues. In my view, it is love and the longing for love that makes the world go 'round and gets us out of bed each morning.

As each person is a unique and beautiful individual, the issues holding people back from true love are unique and personal to them. This is another reason why it's important to go beyond the advice and philosophies of self-help gurus and get our hands dirty by embracing spiritual practices and therapies.

There are some general common stumbling blocks, of course. I think we're all familiar with how a lack of self-esteem can prevent people from pursuing a relationship that is truly healthy and fulfilling. Similarly, fears of rejection and abandonment hold many people back from fulfilling their dreams for love. Limiting beliefs about what is possible in love are also common obstacles. When these issues remain unconscious, they hold us emotionally hostage until they are faced, worked through and transformed to align with a higher level of experience.

Whenever we find ourselves in a pattern that is frustrating or unfulfilling, we are therefore wise to look to our inner world. To make new progress, we must examine old wounds, deep fears and limiting beliefs, and continue to stretch ourselves to heal, empower ourselves and reach for greater personal potential. If you feel blocked, I highly recommend hypnotherapy, through which you can go back and heal and release old wounds and also cultivate new beliefs and a more constructive approach to love.

As I mentioned above, there are things we can do to align with a delightful experience of love even as we're doing whatever inner work is necessary in order to prepare for the soul mate experience our souls are yearning for.

How we feel about love is ultra-important, for we tend to manifest what we expect, and what we focus upon grows larger in our experience. Just as it is important to let go of worrying about symptoms and focus on well-being in order to cultivate good health, we are wise to look past whatever we lack in terms of love and focus on embodying love itself in order to manifest more of it in our lives.

The more we give our attention to love with a positive feeling, the more we become magnets for it in all sorts of wonderful ways. If you don't have a partner to shower with love and affection yet, you can love the one you're with, by which I mean that you infuse all the relationships already in your life with more love. Flow love to your friends, family, neighbors and acquaintances. Upon greeting someone, say to yourself, The love in me greets the love in thee. Visualize your heart chakra openly flowing love and good will to everyone you meet.

One of the most powerful tools for working with the law of attraction is to write the story of what you want to happen in the past tense. The key to infusing this exercise with lots of power lies in the emotional vibration it carries you into.

First just sit for a few moments and think about all you long for in love. Imagine yourself with a partner who has all the traits you find attractive. Take a few moments to get very clear about how you want to feel. Allow images to come to you as you do this. You may imagine yourself receiving flowers, going on dates and kissing someone passionately. You may see yourself attending family functions with your partner on your arm. You may imagine how wonderful it will be to have someone you adore to snuggle up with in bed. Allow this to just flow naturally.

Now sit down and write out the story of how you found this love. This is not going to be published, so don't censor yourself. Do make sure your phrasing is positive, however, and most importantly, take time as you write this to pause and sink into all the wonderful feelings that imagining this brings up for you. If you really get into this exercise, your heart will soon be soaring. You will feel like your chest is tingling or expanding with light or energy - this is what you want!

Once your story is complete and you've basked in all those wonderful feelings for a while, let it go. You can put it away in a drawer or file it away on your computer. It doesn't matter. You're not going to go back to it because you're going to trust that what you desire has been set in motion, and the love you long for is already on its way to you.

If you now just consciously strive to embody and flow love to everyone you meet, and you stay in a high vibration, soon delightful love will be knocking on your door.

- Julia