Dear Julia:

I'm a psychic/medium, and often channel messages from Spirit that include names and other details, which prove very powerful for those who receive them. Other times, however, I'll give someone a message, and they will not recognize who it is from, or they will look sort of blank, and I'm left wondering if the message made no sense to them, or if they just didn't want to give anything away. Both of these messages feel the same to me when I receive and give them, so what is going on? Why would they feel the same if they get such different responses?
- Natalie

Dear Natalie:

What you describe is something that all mediums experience, especially those who do public message work, for there is no real dialogue between medium and recipient in those settings; the medium delivers the message, and the recipient basically remains silent. If you are unfamiliar, picture a medium getting up in front of an "audience" and picking people out of the crowd and then delivering a message to them. This message may be a greeting from a loved one in Spirit and include names or other identifying details, or it may be information about something coming up in this person's life, like a very brief psychic forecast.

People are all different, and many won't respond to a particular message or experience the way that you would. At one end of the spectrum, there are some (very nice) people who are already nodding their heads and agreeing with you before you've even gotten your first sentence out. They're either anxious to find meaning for themselves, or to support you so you don't feel bad.

At the other end are people who can receive detailed, powerful messages but fail to acknowledge them as such either because they are closed to the information or antagonistic to the medium or message work in general. Such antagonism is always born of ego, like fear (such as fear of the medium revealing their "secrets," or fear of spirit communication in general) or pride (no one can read me, no one can read as well as I can, let's see if this medium gets rattled when I give her an icy stare, etc.) Sadly, some of the hardest people to read are often student mediums. At the church I attend, these students will never get up front and give messages, yet some of them are downright cold and stony-faced to the mediums who do. You can give people like this accurate messages, but they won't graciously accept them because deep down they feel competitive or they want to challenge you.

Most people fall somewhere in between. They are hopeful and excited about getting a reading/message, but they're also going to wisely sort through everything they hear and weigh it for truth. They can be so wound up, however, that their conscious mind sort of checks out when you're talking. They may be so focused on getting a message about a certain issue or from a certain someone in Spirit that they forget about all else.

For example, at a recent church service I had "Richard" come through for an older woman. I had done healing on her at the beginning of the service, and he came through then very strongly, wanting to touch her through me. When I gave her the message I told her this, and I explained how he had showed me her youth, and all these pleasurable, sensual experiences she had had. He had very romantic energy, and was encouraging her to live with that old passion and to enjoy all the sensual pleasures that life has to offer again.

She was nodding the whole time I spoke from the altar, but when I talked to her after the service, she said, "I don't know who Richard is. I have an Uncle Richard, but he is living." I said, "No, this is definitely someone in Spirit. I bet it will come to you later." Before I left the church, a woman came up to me and said, "That woman you brought Richard through for is my mother, and Richard was the love of her life! They were passionately in love when she was in her late teens and early twenties, then he went into the service, and she moved on and married my father. She tried to find him a few years ago, and learned that he had passed on." I told her that her mother hadn't placed him yet, and suggested she give her a little reminder.

So you see, this was this woman's greatest love, and yet she didn't recognize him despite his name and romantic message. It all made sense once he was identified, for his sensual energy was definitely not what you would expect from an uncle!

The very next message I gave was to a young wife who was there with her family. As I brought through names and other details, the entire family broke down sobbing with emotion. There was nothing more "touching" about this message, but the reaction was vastly different! So many variables come into play here. For example, this family was much needier than the older woman. They seemed new to Spiritualism, and in search of reassurance and proof of the afterlife. I feel I also happened to bring through the loved ones and information that they were most eager to connect with. Of course, mediums can't always decide who will come through. We have to set an intention for the highest and the best, then open up and communicate whatever we receive.

So I encourage you to trust Spirit and deliver whatever you get with confidence. If someone seems unsure of your message, try to follow up with this person later and ask them to contact you if it does come to them. Use this follow-up information to evaluate how your most accurate messages "feel," as well as how messages that don't carry the same power may feel different. Then if you know you are tuned in properly, just communicate what you are given and let go of how it is received. I have had clients come back to me many years later and say that they thought I was full of it at the time of the reading, but that everything happened as described. Trust Spirit!

If you're doing personal reading work, you have more time and can dialogue with your client. In this arena, I always begin by relaying information about the past and the present. As the client hears information they know to be true, they'll open up and begin to believe and trust you, which helps them to accept what you say about the future, even if it sounds like a stretch from where they're now standing.

Of course, we must also acknowledge that sometimes we are more "on" than other times, and some people are easier to read. Some spirits are also more adept at communicating the names, details and evidence that their loved ones here will recognize. Ideally, those receiving messages are objective and receptive; you (the medium) are completely tuned in and aligned with powerful, detailed, accurate spirit communication; the spirits coming through are skilled in communicating inter-dimensionally and they "speak your language." (If you are visual, they send visual symbols more than words, etc.) We can't expect this to happen all the time any more than we can expect every day to be sunny and 70 degrees. We have to just do our best given our circumstances.

I know if you just do your best with faith that this will be enough, it will be. This is not math or science - it's an art. Just as we have to respect the unique vision and beauty of each painting a painter paints, we have to respect and honor the unique beauty of each reading/message that mediums co-create with Spirit. Some messages may feel more beautiful or powerful than others, but that doesn't invalidate the rest.

Remember too that you can always ask Spirit! Ask for help and guidance in understanding your experiences and in honing your skills. If you can tune in and get answers for others, surely Spirit will be there for you too.

- Julia