Dear Julia:

I read your article on promiscuity and how it affects the aura and creates energetic links. I have read this before from a Hindu saint. My question is: How does this astral tie affect the individual? I mean, let's say I have been with many partners - how would I notice these astral connections? Are there observable mental, emotional or physical symptoms? Besides thinking of the person, I don't notice anything else.

Ryan

Dear Ryan:

Since the influence of psychic cording is subtle/energetic, how much you notice would depend on how psychically sensitive you are. Of course, the stronger the bond, the more likely one is to notice these effects. For example, the strongest psychic bond is typically that between mother and child, so even mothers who aren't especially psychic may have striking experiences of this connection. Similarly, someone who is highly psychic can pick up things about people they barely know. If you are highly psychic, you may have an acquaintance pop into your head only to have that person phone you just after this, or learn that this person was thinking of you at that time.

Please note that I'm talking about conscious effects: we are all influenced by the psychic cords we have with other people whether we know it or not. Further, the less conscious we are of these interactions, the more they tend to influence us.

The cords that are formed when we have sex with someone are never completely broken unless something is done to purposefully break them. They do tend to fade or diminish over time, however. The stronger they are at their foundation, the more they tend to endure. Thus a long, passionate, true love affair is like a castle: though we may leave it behind, it remains standing and will continue to exist even as it falls into ruins. Only if we purposefully disassemble it and re-appropriate its materials will it disappear from the landscape.

Along the same lines of this metaphor, when we sleep with someone in a casual way without forming a deep bond, it's like throwing up a little hut in our psychic territory. If we sleep around a lot, soon we'll have a little ghetto in our psychic back yard. These creations aren't as strong and enduring as true love affairs, so they will fall apart faster. Since they aren't enormous like castles, it's much easier to ignore, dismiss or overlook them.

It's interesting that I'm writing this column today, because just last night I had long, delightful dreams of a boy I loved decades ago. Our bond is a good example of the castle I describe above. Though we've only run into each other a handful of times since we broke up, we continue to have fond feelings for each other, and I continue to have him pop into my mind on a regular basis. I also tend to dream about him every now and again, which is a very clear indication that we continue to have a strong psychic bond.

Having frequent or striking dreams about someone is one sign that we have a psychic bond with them. Here are some others:

On a mental level, the most common sign is that these folks will tend to just pop into our heads for no apparent reason. Of course, it's wise to ponder what may have caused them to come to mind. If there is a song playing on the radio that reminds us of them, it could be nothing more than a mental association. If we can think of no reason why that person may be popping into our heads, then odds are good that we're psychically linked.

As for why they would come to mind at that time, all sorts of things are possible. If we are working on some particular issue in our current lives, and that issue is somehow tied to the experiences we had with that person, it's natural for those energies to be reawakened. It's also very common for our thoughts about someone to make them think about us. Therefore, when someone pops into our heads, it may be because they've been thinking about us for some reason. Having a psychic connection to someone is sort of like having an intercom system: when one party sends a signal through it, it starts something of a telepathic dialogue that can go on indefinitely. Of course, for most people, this is mainly happening at an unconscious level.

On a mental level we can also pick up thoughts and ideas from people we are psychically bonded to. For example, I often see images of desert mountains, and when I follow the line of these images, the face of an old lover comes up, so I assume I am seeing images from his life. This is very similar to the images I see when I purposefully connect with someone on a psychic level in order to do a reading for them. It's also similar to how spirits show me images and memories from their lives. This is really helpful to know if you're trying to develop your psychic abilities, for if you examine the random images and thoughts that pop into your head, you will have a sense of what it is like to pick up psychic impressions.

On an emotional level, we can be suddenly overtaken by moods and feelings that seem to come out of nowhere. While we tend to feel like our moods just come over us, our feelings aren't random. When we choose to be in a certain mood, our feelings are coming from within us; when we don't consciously set our own tone, our moods tend to entrain to the strongest signal around us. This is why being around someone who is depressed can really get us down, while being around someone who is in a great mood can lift our spirits.

Sometimes the strongest signal is the emotional wavelength of someone we have a psychic bond to. This is why we may sense that someone is in danger even though they are miles away, for being in danger sends a very strong signal. Since we are rarely conscious of this type of influence, it tends to be extra powerful. It's relatively easy to notice the influence of someone who is depressed and make a conscious choice to set our own tone, but when the influence is psychic in nature, we may be baffled as to why we suddenly feel down.

On a physical level, we can pick up the aches, pains and problems of people we are strongly connected to. This is especially true when we empathize with someone and we are powerful creators. Through years of working with the law of attraction, I have gotten to the point where I can give something my attention and manifest it very quickly. When I'm not careful with my thoughts and vibration, this tends to yield undesirable results!

It's tricky to keep my vibration high when someone I love is hurting. Recently my athletic daughter had a lower back injury, and my heart went out to her because she was so frustrated and disappointed at her inability to compete. Within two days, I had the exact same pain in the same spot in my lower back. Similarly, my husband has been struggling with a painful elbow, which we've learned is due to bone chips in the joint. Within about a month of him developing this problem in his left elbow (and me listening to him talk about it and watching him struggle with it every day), I had pain in my left elbow!

The key to resolving such matters is conscious awareness. Once I became conscious that I was empathizing with and thus entraining to these vibrations, I was able to quickly release those conditions. Given the endless ways that psychic bonds can influence us, we are wise to choose the people we bond to carefully, and to cultivate conscious awareness of the subtle energetic interactions constantly flowing through our lives.

Julia